


It All Comes Back to Spencer

by aprofessorbhaer



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Past Abuse, Past Infidelity, Polyamorous Character, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprofessorbhaer/pseuds/aprofessorbhaer
Summary: This will eventually be an ot4 fic about Spencer, Toby, Hanna, and Caleb. However, stuff has to happen before that can take place.Basically, They all want Spencer, and this is their journey to realize that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Everyone's a thread, we're all woven together](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3920446) by [jannika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jannika/pseuds/jannika). 



It should’ve made her angry. It should’ve made her furious, and righteous, and vengeful. Because really, how dare they do that to her? But when she found out that Caleb had cheated on her with Hanna, all she felt was hurt. Hurt that he would do that, hurt that Hanna would allow it. Their dating pool had overlapped before, but never like this. 

She had never been the one to date a friend’s ex. And she felt guilty about that. She worried that she had only dated Caleb as a rebound, to get over Toby once and for all, now that he had his happy ending with Yvonne. Caleb was a good choice, a smart choice, given their history and shared fond memories. They had been friends first, and aren’t those supposed to be the strongest couples?

Apparently not for Caleb. He and Hanna had basically been dating from the beginning of their relationship, whether or not they called it that at the time. And here she was, left with this feeling in her chest of jealousy. And _want_. That wasn’t normal, right? When you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you with your best friend? They were exes, so this could be construed as Spencer’s fault; she should’ve known better than to get between the forces of nature that were Hanna and Caleb. Caleb and Hanna. 

She thought about them together, and _ached_ for it. And not just for something like it, though that was definitely a component. Being a Hastings meant being very in touch with your emotions. It may seem otherwise, but how were you supposed to control your reactions and appear perfect if you didn’t know exactly what you were controlling?

Therefore, she had taken stock of herself, accompanied by several glasses of wine. Here’s what she had so far:

She still loved Caleb. What they had built together wasn’t something that even betrayal could destroy completely. They had given bad first impressions, bonded over caring about the same people, and plotted together, since high school. 

She still loved Hanna. She didn’t think there was anything that could break that, no matter how monumental. They had been friends through everything else, and even if Hanna didn’t feel the same, this would just be another storm for Spencer to weather. 

She still loved Toby. That felt nearly immaterial, though. Apart from the fact it made it imperative she let him go to have the happy life he deserved, with Yvonne. Maybe he had the right idea, in looking beyond the high school gang for a partner, but she didn’t feel capable of it. They had experienced too much together, and nothing anybody else would ever understand. Even the boys who loved them most didn’t know what the girls had endured, and vice versa.

She sighed. One big miserable family. Get out while you still can. Swirling her wine around the glass, she considered what to do with her new information.

Well, she and Caleb broke up. He’s presumably back with Hanna. Toby is safe with Yvonne. Which leaves…her. And that’s fine. She’s used to caring about people, quietly. You had to, in her house. Even showing affection could be weakness around the wrong people. So you learned to hide it. Or code it so only you and the other person knew what it really meant.

She shrugged to herself. And that’s what she would do. She’d be the friend Toby deserved, and the absence the others needed. She would find something else to do, occupy her mind. She always did. In high school, it was homework. In the summer, it was friend drama or…schoolwork. Now, it would have to be something else. But she could handle it. She’d always been good at planning, setting goals. If you didn’t put it on the calendar, it wasn’t gonna happen.

She shook herself mentally. Jeez, she needed to go to bed and sleep this off. She was getting way too philosophical for this time of night. Wallowing wouldn’t do anything productive, and tomorrow waited for no one. Sighing, she heaved herself up out of her chair to wash her glass.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toby shares some personal news with Spencer.

“I can’t _believe_ that, Toby!”

Toby raised his eyebrows in response.

“Not that I don’t believe you,” She clarified. “I just find it incredible that Yvonne would break off the engagement over something like that!”

Toby shrugged, oddly calm for the conversation they were having. “It’s not a well-known thing, Spence. It’s nowhere near being universally accepted, and it’s new to a lot of people.”

“But that’s not the point! This is part of who you are, Toby! If she really loved you, this would just be like finding out you’re—you’re South African or something!”

That seemed to amuse him. “This is a bit different from my nationality, Spence,” he said, smiling wryly.

Spencer was getting really worked up. “My point is that this is something you have no control over, Toby! It’s just another part of your identity. If she really cared about you, she should see that!”

Toby remained placid. “She was upset that I waited this long to tell her, felt like I was hiding it or something.”

Spencer threw up her hands. “Like you said, not many people know about it, you weren’t sure how she would react. If I were serious about my partner, and I was planning on coming out as polyamorous, then I would propose first, too! You wanted to see if she was as committed to the relationship as you were.” Spencer held up a finger. “Furthermore, you were not obligated to even tell her! You don’t owe her that information! Obviously, it’s best not to start a marriage on lies, I would guess, but your preferences are your own!”

Finally, Toby held up his hands in mock surrender. “You don’t have to convince me, Spence. I’m on your side, here.”

Spencer let out a long breath. “I know. I just hate it that she would accuse you, the most genuine person I know, of being dishonest, and then leave you for telling her. She wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity if you hadn’t shared it, but she still found something wrong with your timing!” Spencer huffed, exasperated at the absent woman.

Toby smiled, slightly sad. “She said she couldn’t trust me to be faithful to her. She’d always be wondering if I was thinking about someone else when we’d be together.”

Spencer snorted incredulously. “Her inability to trust her partner in a monogamous relationship, which was going fine before she found out, is her problem, not yours. That’s like saying you’re twice as likely to cheat if you like guys _and_ girls.”

“Some people would agree with that reasoning.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t.” She was decided on that topic.

Toby’s eyes twinkled. “I believe you.”

“For one thing, being polyamorous just means that you’re open to falling in love with more than one person, it doesn’t mean that’s a _requirement_. You can be in love with just one person!”

Toby was admirably trying to hold in his laughter. “I _know_ , Spencer.”

Finally, Spencer smiled. “I know you know. I just…you know I need to rant sometimes.”

Toby let out a chuckle. “I also know that.”

Spencer chuckled too, looking down into her omnipresent coffee.

“Spencer…” She looked up to see Toby being very earnest. “I know of at least one question you must be thinking right now. Why haven’t you asked it?”

Spencer returned her gaze to her mug, rubbing it thoughtfully. “Like I said, it’s nobody’s business but your own. What you’ve trusted me with already is more than I could’ve ever asked for.”

Toby smiled crookedly. “Well, to answer your unasked question, the reason I didn’t tell you when we were together was I didn’t know it then. I was still figuring things out, and when I had you, nothing else really…mattered, anyway.”

Spencer nearly got lost in his sea glass eyes. When was the last time she had that luxury?  
She smiled around the ache in her heart at the mention of the past and what it held. “Yeah. I figured it was something like that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Toby hang out. Talk about relationships.

“You’re very nonchalant about the whole thing,” Toby remarked a few days later when they were hanging out.

She can’t believe they’re doing that now. Hanging out. Like they’re good friends, without a complicated history, just spending time together.  
She raised an eyebrow at his rather vague comment.

“I mean about Caleb and Hanna,” he specified, watching her closely. 

Spencer returned to her laptop, trying to formulate a response, then simply decided on the truth. If anyone deserved that, it was Toby. “They care about each other. I care about them. I decided it would be prudent to just move on instead of holding a grudge.”

“They _cheated_ on you, Spencer.”

Spencer rolled her eyes. “Yes, Toby, I’m aware of that. And what they did wasn’t okay. But…it happened. There’s no changing that. And…I think we all know Hanna and Caleb belong together.”

“So you were expecting it to happen?”

“ _No_. I didn’t _expect_ Caleb to be unfaithful to me. But I knew how he felt about Hanna, at least to a certain extent, and I also know how unruly those kind of feelings can be.” Spencer closed her eyes to center herself. “I’m not condoning what they did, Toby. I’m forgiving them.”

“Well, you’re a better man than I, then.” She turned to see Toby smirking playfully. “I’m still pissed at what they did to you.”

Spencer tried to quash the warm feeling that inspired in her chest. “I’m not happy about it either. And I wish the relationship Caleb and I had could’ve ended better, but I’m not sorry it happened. It was a good thing while it lasted.” She turned back to her laptop to hide her eyes. She knew they’d betray her somehow. Maybe they’d say the reason she had been with Caleb was she missed being with Toby, and she couldn’t have that. Not when things were so good between her and her ex.

“And you really weren’t surprised when I told you why Yvonne broke up with me.”

Spencer was still getting used to their easy dynamic, so she had to do a mental double-take at Toby’s latest out-of-the-blue comment. Didn’t she used to be the one with the shock factor?

“What are you talking about, Toby? I was livid. Still am. That was barely a few days ago.”

Toby shook his head. “No, I mean when I told you about…what I told her.”

Oh. “Well. You know me. In high school, I probably did research on everything at one point. Orientation seemed like a pertinent topic to know well when I was a teenager.”

“And?” Of course he wouldn’t let her get away with that answer.

“And…I wanted an explanation for how I could be so close to my three best friends and my boyfriend, too. So, I looked for resources that talked about people who were happy in relationships with more than one other person. And I found out that they existed, and it was possible to have that with friends, not just romantic partners. Some people considered it to be on a deeper level than friendship, called them queer-platonic relationships.” 

She shrugged. “And it made sense to me. I didn’t think I had to tell anyone because it was just my personal revelation. It didn’t change how I felt about anyone, it just changed how I looked at it.” She looked up and met Toby’s gaze squarely. “So what I guess I’m saying is, it didn’t surprise me to find out that you’re polyamorous because I think I’m somewhere in that neighborhood, too.”

Toby’s face broke into one of those smiles that could power the sun. “Well, thank you for telling me that, Spence.” And he kissed her on the cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why aren’t you mad at us!?”

“And hello to you too, Hanna.”

Even though Spencer was facing away from her friend, she could tell from the fabric rustling that she had crossed her arms. “Seriously, Spencer. How can you be okay with what we did to you?”

Spencer looked up from her laptop. It seemed Toby was no longer the only one questioning her judgement. “It’s not that I’m okay with it, Hanna. It was a shitty thing to do. But I understand why you did it, and I care about both of you, so I decided being angry was less important than putting it behind me.”

Hanna shook her head. “Why do you have to be so _good_ , Spencer? You’ve gone through so much. Don’t you ever just want to scream at the world for the way it’s treated you?!”

Spencer smirked through a grimace. “Good? I’m not good, Hanna. The only reason I’m not being really bitchy and bitter about this is because I’ve tried it before, and it doesn’t work. It doesn’t accomplish anything. Trust me, this laid back approach I’ve got going right now? It’s a matter of self-preservation.”

Hanna smirked. “Sure. You forgave your best friend and boyfriend for cheating on you because of _self-preservation_.”

Spencer shrugged. “Well, it wasn’t exactly smart to date your ex, was it? Not really a best friend move. One could argue I brought this on myself.”

“No, one could not argue that!” Spencer saw the old fire in Hanna’s eyes. “Don’t you dare turn this around on yourself, Spencer. You already take the blame for way too much.”

Spencer returned to her laptop screen. “Someone’s gotta do it, Hanna.”

“For such a smart girl, that’s a really stupid reason.”

Spencer glanced over her shoulder to see Hanna with her arms crossed. She straightened again, and sighed. “Hanna, I love you, but I’ve already explained myself to Toby, and I don’t want to do it again. Did you come over here just to ask why I’m not mad?”

There was a pause, and Spencer could hear the rustling of fabric as Hanna presumably shifted from foot to foot, awkward. “Maybe. Why did Toby ask about us?”

Spencer shrugged. “I don’t know, Han. You’ll have to ask him, because I am not bringing it up again.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey, Caleb. Come on in.” Spencer left the door open and returned to where she had been sitting before the knock at the door.

Caleb stepped in hesitantly, like he wasn’t expecting the welcome he had received. “You…don’t seem surprised to see me.”

Spencer continued scrolling on her laptop. “You’re the last person to talk to me about this. It was only a matter of time.”

Caleb continued looking confused. Spencer elaborated “Toby and Hanna have both already asked me about my reaction to you and Hanna getting back together.” She raised her eyebrows. “That is why you’re here, right?” Before Caleb could answer, she added “I don’t see why you felt the need, we already talked about it when we broke up.”

Caleb winced, and Spencer wanted to feel bad for his discomfort, but the memory still stung for her as well, no matter how magnanimous her intentions. “We still didn’t leave on the best of terms, Spence.”

Spencer tried to shrug off the familiar nickname. “I’ve had worse.”

Caleb chuckled weakly. “I guess that does make me feel a little better.” He shuffled his feet. “So…are we really okay?”

Spencer sighed, then faced him. “Caleb, Hanna is my best friend. Even when we fight, or don’t speak to each other, or say we hate each other, that will not change.” At least not for me. “You were her first serious boyfriend, her high school sweetheart, and I believe her first love. Moreover, the fact that you cared about someone I cared about meant we were friends, too. Then, after you two broke up, we were still friends, and eventually we started dating.” She took a deep breath. “I’m glad we were together, even if I didn’t like how it ended, and I want both of you to be happy. All three of us have been through so much together; you two deserve it.”

Caleb’s mouth quirked up. “You deserve to be happy, too, Spencer.”

Spencer smiled ruefully. “Now you sound like Hanna.”

Caleb smirked. “She’s a smart girl, that Hanna.”

Spencer laughed, surprised at herself for doing so. It felt like she hadn’t in a long time. “That’s what I’m always trying to tell her. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”

“I doubt it. But I’ll try.”

Spencer smiled. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything more written right now, but I wanted to post something, so here you go!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm going through my wips to see what is postable. This isn't finished, and I don't know when it will be, but I hope you'll enjoy it in the meantime.


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